Caregiving During the Holidays

The holiday season is upon us. It is traditionally the time of year of great celebration and family gathering. The season to spread cheer and be merry. For many however, the season can be marked by sadness and the reality of the decline of a loved one. Recognizing that the holidays can be difficult for some, we wanted to give a nod to our home caregivers and the challenge that lies ahead of them. While we cannot ease the burden, we thought we would share some tips to make the holidays less stressful.
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Communication
Take the opportunity to communicate with loved ones during the holiday. If you are providing care for an individual that is in a state of decline, it may be burdensome to accept visitors and allow loved ones and relatives the chance to visit. There is an opportunity in this. This may give you the ability to communicate with those around you that you may need some help. While it may be difficult, it may be the invitation they need to provide assistance. Find a way to include a note in holiday cards and greetings to distant relatives and loved ones about the individual you are caring for. This can be a nonthreatening way to inform them about the realities of the caregiving situation.

Accept and Adapt
You may have been the individual that people relied on to entertain during the holidays. Be honest with those around you and inform them that your caregiving responsibilities may be taking a significant amount of your time. It may mean letting go of tradition and allowing someone else the opportunity to host the entertainment. Decisions will have to be made based on what may be simplest and enjoyable for you and the one you are caring for. If you choose to entertain, take into consideration the person you are caring for. It may be best to create a “visiting room” where loved ones can take turns visiting without the distraction of the holiday event causing too much stimulus and anxiety.

Focus On Meaningful Traditions
Often, we focus too much on making the holidays perfect. Instead, this year focus on meaningful traditions that are easy to execute and maintain. Perhaps when decorating, bring only the most significant decorations out. Take into consideration starting new traditions. Instead of focusing on loss, find new ways to celebrate the holiday. In years past maybe you had walked the neighborhood to view the lights and decorations. Turn this into a comfortable drive instead and find new areas to explore.

Meal Adjustments
For many, food plays a big part in celebrating the holidays. While this may be difficult, realize that large meals take time to prepare and may be an unwanted expense. Try paring down, instead of eliminating, and simplify the process. Perhaps this year host a potluck or even cater the meal and split the cost with those attending. If there is one menu item that is the star of the meal, focus on that item and prepare less of everything else. Bear in mind the individual you are caring for and ask, if possible, what they would like to enjoy.

Keep Self-Care at the Top of The List
All throughout the year, you give. The holidays may have you feeling like you have to give even more.
This may make you feel run down and as if the tank is empty. It is far too easy to allow your own care to slip at this time of year. Take time for you. Sing holiday songs, eat tasty treats, and enjoy what you can around you. Find assistance that allows you to step away from what you are doing and spend time indulging yourself with a warm cup of coffee or cocoa at a cafe. Your resilience is what can make the holiday brighter. The only way to do this is to carve out some “you time”. Remember that the time you have with loved ones is precious. While the feeling of loss and grief can prevail at times, staying present in the moment with loved ones and those you care for can be the greatest gift of all and time well spent. Don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow and find ways to enjoy the day you are in.